Hi Fellow Ilanders,

This is about a friend of mine who is in a predicament, of his own making.

He got married to the girl of his choice, not entirely to his liking. But since the girl is only child of her parents and they own many properties, he dreamt of a wealthy and luxurious future.

Now, after more than two decades of his marriage, his in laws obviously have control on all the property, on the basis of which he had dreamt a big future. He himself is past middle age. So it is unlikely that he will be able to enjoy the wealth of his wife's family, even if she permits him to.

Another twist to story is twofold.

Firstly he and his wife are now living in their own world, though together for sake of children, like thousand of such middle class couples who linger on in the relationship with no emotional bonding left.

Secondly this friend has someone very close in the family who, like him , is in a Govt job. But the difference ends there.Because that relation of his in a job with phenomenal, ' upar ki aamdani'. He is, obviously envious of this relative of his. 

This friend is in a state of mindset with very low self esteem and feeling of worthlessness.

There seems to be no solution to his woes.

What should be my advice to him , while offering solace and support ?

Your views are solicited.